Tether ball

5 August 2011

I was dressed and prepared for work quicker than usual this morning, most likely because “casual Friday” affords me the opportunity to slacks off a bit in my attire.

With the extra time, I scrolled through Twitter to read the latest news and came upon a story about Texas Governor Rick Perry preparing to hold a revival tomorrow “to pray for what he calls ‘a nation in crisis'” according to NPR.

Let me put aside my belief that no one in a governmental leadership position should ever lead by or speak about religious beliefs publicly while in office. (Rick Perry and others calling on God’s guidance to lead public policy is no different, although perhaps worse, than me calling on the spirit of Jacob Marley to lead our economic policy. Either one is beyond poor policy-making.) Let me instead, if you will allow, speak to the fact that Mr. Perry and his ilk are completely off-base with the entire point of their rally.

The US is not in a shit hole because gay people exist, or people have sex outside of heterosexual marriage, or people get divorced, or people are atheist or women can use birth control or hold public office. The US is in a shit hole because we believe in business over humanity. We value corporations more than human life.

I seethe when I read ignorant, damaging rhetoric. Part of it may be a proclivity toward self-affliction casting outward because I used to be dogmatized. I used to walk around and spread the cheer of the Gospel (because only Cheer gets your Gospel whites whiter) and try to convince people to accept Jesus. Maybe that’s the problem. We’d rather have people accept Jesus than accept themselves or each other.

I got a card from my friend today. He wrote the card five years ago, but just mailed it. He mentioned a tethered, oppressed mind. That’s where we are as humans in the US. We are mentally tethered to ideas that are outdated, outmoded and outrageously devastating to our humanity.

You can’t have a breakfast scone without Cone

4 August 2011

Morning is often a time for waking up, being incredibly irritable, listening to prattling news anchors ejaculating confusing drivel quickly alternating from depressing to shallow (“This just in, 148 people are dead in a riot in Iowa. Rioters were demanding the Republican party stop harming people in the US with quote insane fiscal and social policies end quote. Next up, who is designing Kim Kardashian’s shoelaces for her walk to get groceries the morning after the wedding?”) and eat some sort of sugary breakfast either with the aid of milk or the assistance of a toasting device.

Well now your morning just got a bit better this week.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out the Cone Alone series, a photography project in which real traffic cones, pylons, speak out what they were thinking and feeling during the photographs.

Here is what the critics have to say about Cone Alone:

“What was that?” -Tim Halstead, Daily Helium

“Which one of us were you talking to?” -Debra Talmud, Weekly Pop Magazine

“I can’t believe Kim’s shoelaces are actual jade! How will she tie them?” -Reginald Pollitt, New York Times

Don’t believe the critics? (I wouldn’t either.) See for yourself. And be sure to subscribe to get each week’s posts of Cones at work, at play, at rest, at hominem and more!

Confused and de-feeted

3 August 2011

I recently purchased Dr. Scholl’s gel inserts. No, not those kinds of inserts you pervert.

Last night I made a miserable attempt at putting them in my dress shoes.

I begin placing them where they need to go when GF looks over and casually informs me I am putting them in upside down.

Yeesh. I felt like such a heel.

Vending vedi vici

2 August 2011

Today at work a co-worker went to the vending machine in the break room. Her packet of Peanut M&Ms got hooked on the plastic dispensing spiral. Immediately she exclaims and begins banging into the machine with her hips, making the internal machine light flicker with each blow, shaking the machine from side with reckless abandon.

I eventually purchased the next packet of Peanut M&Ms and we were both happy.

The other night GF asked me to name my favorite color. So I named it Kendra. Then, I realized I don’t really have a favorite color. At various points in my life my answers included orange (really?), blue and green. All boring choices. I have no favorite color.

If babies starting being born with rockets as feet I wonder if that would cripple the sock and shoe industry.

If I had to eat a potato every night of the week prepared in the same way every night I would like that potato to be ______________________. What would you pick?

I would want the potato to be a baked potato.

I do love potato chips though.

Yes.

Escalating tensions

1 August 2011

After a long day at work involving a trip into Alexandria to meet a volunteer, I am home. I ate Ramen noodles and GF and I watched Sex and the City on E!. Hooray.

If you, dear reader, live in the DC metro area then you know the agony that is Metrorail. Here is my impression of a conversation with Metrorail.

Me- Hello Metrorail. How are you?

Metrorail- That will be $2.20 each way for your trip to work in the morning.

Me- Yikes. That seems steep, but I think it is worth it for such a highly functioning Metro system.

Metrorail- Oh. About that. Actually, If you try to catch me at anytime outside of the 6-9 AM timeframe, then you will be waiting at least 13 minutes for each train, if not 20 minutes or more.

Me- Yeah, but that’s fine for such a cheap price. At least it is a clean and comfortable ride since you have all those signs and strict policies against eating and drinking in the Metrorail system.

Metrorail- Actually, unlike our New York counterpart, we have disgusting carpet and seat cushions that hold non-existent-deity-knows-what in them. At various points, riders have found Ebola, toothpicks, tater tots, king crabs and toxic waste blinding them while heightening all their other senses and giving them radar-like abilities: all within the cushions of our seats.

Me- Ick.

Metrorail- Not to mention all the cars that don’t have air conditioning.

Me- I think I’m leaving now.

Metrorail- Ah. But that is the best of all. You see, at any given point every elevator and escalator in the entire system will be down. In fact, it would be easier to count the number of operational lifts and diagonal people movers.

Me- [No sound except the buzz of radioactive tater tots.]

Escalator repair or Indiana Jones mine adventure?

Into the abyss

The Replacements (Let It Be?)

GF ventures into the unknown.

Safety first. Second? Eighth? Anywhere?

Next stop rejuvenation?