Wishful robotics

12 October 2011

Good evening.

If I were a robot.

I would never make toast because I would not subject my relative, the toaster, to such humiliation.

I would also have no taste for the ridiculously inefficient food of humans. If I wanted bread I would simply eat bread. Toasting is a waste of time and prevents me from accomplishing other tasks such as computations and plotting.

I would also not write a blog because writing blogs is a waste of time which is a concept created by humans like love, hunger and temerity.

I would, in my 1.5 hours of restoration time, watch exclusively The Brave Little Toaster, Wall-e, Short Circuit, Batteries Not Included and Legends of the Fall.

Transmission complete.

Loaf of my life

20 September 2011

Hello beautiful lovelies.

I don’t really have much to say tonight. Instead, GF and I are watching Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across The 2nd Dimension.

If you have not seen the movie, do so.

For those of you who cannot live without my mesmerizing (mesmerising for our UK readers) wit, please enjoy three sentences on the following picture:


If I were stuck in you, I’d be in-bred.

I know you don’t like Fanta, but would you like a Slice?

If the Ten Commandments were written here, they would appear in the Old Toastament.