Wishful robotics

12 October 2011

Good evening.

If I were a robot.

I would never make toast because I would not subject my relative, the toaster, to such humiliation.

I would also have no taste for the ridiculously inefficient food of humans. If I wanted bread I would simply eat bread. Toasting is a waste of time and prevents me from accomplishing other tasks such as computations and plotting.

I would also not write a blog because writing blogs is a waste of time which is a concept created by humans like love, hunger and temerity.

I would, in my 1.5 hours of restoration time, watch exclusively The Brave Little Toaster, Wall-e, Short Circuit, Batteries Not Included and Legends of the Fall.

Transmission complete.

The sun also ceases to rise

3 September 2011

Good evening beloved lovelies.

After our adventure in Baltimore yesterday, GF and I decided to sit around like sloths this Saturday, snacking and watching Sleepless in Seattle. While GF napped earlier, I played what has been called the best video game of all time, Chrono Trigger. So far, I agree with the praise bestowed upon the game.

As the sun set in the distance, GF awoke and we talked of dinner and plans for the evening. We had the idea to see if Netflix for the Wii had Disney Channel series Good Luck Charlie and Phineas and Ferb. While looking, we found a National Geographic documentary on Egypt.

During the documentary, the narrator describes the ancient Egyptian worship of the sun, praying each night the sun would raise from its death in the west to bring life again the next day.

What if it did not?

What if the sun simply did not rise? I have done no research (as usual), but I am sure someone has written in length about what would happen if the sun simply stopped rising.

I imagine (and I’m no scientist) that life on Earth would cease to exist. The end of civilization, humanity and life on this planet fascinates me.

I have a perhaps disturbing fascination with thinking about a worldwide cataclysm that would wipe us from memory and history – an event that would render everything we have ever accomplished completely null and void.

I think about the possibility of a super virus that is absolutely unstoppable. I think about a global crisis of money, food and water that causes the last war. I think about an army of evil automatons killing us all – slowly at first through “freak accidents” like toasters falling into bathtubs or vacuum cleaners sucking off faces. I think about the sun setting one final time.

I do not know why exactly, but I find comfort in the thought that one day, none of us will exist anymore. Everything we love, know and do will be nothing. Our names and actions will be as if they never happened. I find supreme happiness and contentment remembering how insignificant I am.