Starved for attention

23 March 2012

Earlier today, I used Twitter to share my desire not to see the film version of The Hunger Games. In case you missed it, here are the tweets in their entirety.

[Begin transmission]

11: 00 AM – To say I enjoyed the #HungerGames novels is an extreme understatement. I read all three in two days.

11:01 AM – However, I will not be going to see the movie version of @TheHungerGames

11:02 AM – So, please enjoy my series of things I will be doing while not watching the #HungerGames

11:03 AM – 1. Listening to Dance Hall Crashers while drinking a Mountain Dew – not watching the #HungerGames

11:04 AM – 2. Walking through Ogden, UT and looking at Mormons on lawns – not watching the #HungerGames

11:05 AM – 3. Watching The Page Master on VHS – not watching the #HungerGames

11:06 AM – 4. Playing Jenga with some friends who are cool – not watching the #HungerGames

11:07 AM – 5. Interviewing disenfranchised Cheetahs unable to vote in latest feline recall elections – not watching the #HungerGames

11:08 AM – 6. Doing my homework so I can be caught up on the contributions of Neils Bohr – not watching the #HungerGames

11:09 AM – 7. Checking which oven setting is optimal for cooking a Toaster Strudel, starting at 100 – not watching the #HungerGames

11:10 AM – Thus endeth the list of things I will be doing instead of seeing the movie version of the #HungerGames

[End transmission]

Follow @mentalmacguyver on Twitter for future reasons I am not participating in certain aspects of popular culture.

Pizza my mind

18 August 2011

Last night I bought a miniature frozen pizza. Today I ate it. It was horrible.

Someone recommended I purchase good frozen pizza.

If I’m going to get frozen pizza, I want it to taste terrible. I have no illusions. If I want real pizza, I’ll get real pizza. Frozen pizza should make me hate myself more than I normally do. I should regret each bite as I angrily and incessantly chew it down until it is just moist doughy mush in my mouth.

Here is a picture of a simple meal I enjoyed at a restaurant in OgdenLayton, UT.

I always order from the senior menu