Sooner or escalator

30 August 2011

Another good day to you lovers, friends, family and visiting extraterrestrials.

GF and I use Metrorail to get to and from work every day. I would find it quite easy to turn this blog into a continual self-absorbed groan on the frequently inoperational Metrorail escalators.

But I won’t.

First, I don’t really mind out-of-order motorized incline devices. I like walking. Walking makes me remember I’m alive. Walking makes me realize the world and I are the same. Sometimes walking is the only thing that feels real to me.

Second, we have a functioning Metro system. It could be better, yes. But it could also not exist. I would not enjoy that alternative.

However, sometimes I feel like I should complain about Metrorail. There are lots of things about which I feel I should complain even if they don’t really make me angry. I can’t explain (and neither can Pete Townshend).

Today, two of three escalators leading out of the Court House Metro station were broken (or at least not running). The other escalator was [pretentious description ALERT] transporting humans and luggage down into the bowels of public transit.

So, GF and I walked up the escalator. The person in front of me was wearing a book bag, carrying a book (defeating the purpose of the book bag?) and was wearing exercise gear. My face felt magnetically attracted to her book bag. I stared at it and it stared back. The abyss is a book bag.

Yeesh. If you made it this far in today’s post, I apologize. I don’t remember reading or hearing anything so schmaltzy and pretentious that would have influenced me so lately. Perhaps it is the combination of whisky and Icelandic chocolate.

"There's more to life than this"? I don't think so Bjork.

And yes, I did eat the chocolate while listening to Bjork. I think it intensified the effect.

By the way – Did you remember the video competition from yesterday’s post? No? Then read it and enter to win a parcel from…me!

When sheet hits the fan

29 August 2011

Hello again lovers and friends and family (and technologically-savvy cones).

Before I get to the meat (or other form of protein for your meatless diet) of tonight’s post, let me just say I was pleased to receive a package today. I ordered this package from Amazon (the online one, not the one I am probably killing by ordering packages). This package contained three compact discs and one seasoning. In order of appearance.

Two Door Cinema Club – Tourist History

The Books – The Way Out

Fountains of Wayne – Sky Full of Holes

Shichimi Togarashi spice

And now…

Here is another clip from the DC Improv Comedy School Cast show at the DC Improv on 24 August 2011. This game is called “Slo Mo.” Stay tuned after the video for a fun contest!

Video Contest

Hello friends! How about a sweet video contest? Find the one thing I forgot* in the above video and email me at oapowerbattery@gmail.com I will choose one correct answerer at random to win a parcel from me!

Deadline is whenever I remember the contest is happening, but most definitely after Labor Day.

*Yeah yeah. I’m sure I forgot more than one thing. Yuck it up jackass.

[Object] makes me [adjective]

27 August 2011

Greetings again sexy readers. You know who you are.

For those of you packed in safely with your five-sandbag quota, why not beat CNN’s continuous coverage of Hurricane Irene (and FX’s showing of Me, Myself and Irene) by watching another clip from this past week’s show at the DC Improv?

This game is called, “Emotional Symphony.”

 

Better translate than never

26 August 2011

Hello lovers and followers and friends and, well, everyone else.

Before the hurricane hits and the power goes out and you’re left reading issues of People magazine from 1992 (whatever happened that year?), why not check out some videos?

As I mentioned earlier this week (you did read that, didn’t you?), I was fortunate enough to perform with the DC Improv Comedy School Cast on Wednesday. GF was there with camera in hand to record some of the scenes of the action.

If the power last throughout the weekend, I’ll be posting clips from the show.

Here is one game called “Foreign Movie.”

Shake, rattle and roil

23 August 2011

If you have not heard about today’s earthquake, I won’t fault you.*

I was at work in mid-town DC when the quake hit. Our office has been going through renovations lately, and it took me a few moments to recognize what was happening. I was on the phone, speaking with one of our grassroots organizers, when my desk began vibrating.

I have a bit of an interesting mental condition. If my brain does not comprehend what is happening, it will make up some explanation to fit the situation. For example, when I began receiving the local newspaper from my hometown of Irwinton, GA (pop. 580 or so), The Wilkinson County Post, I assumed I drunkenly ordered a subscription one night. I tell the story to my friend, MP, and he reveals he ordered the subscription for me.

When I felt my desk shaking, my brain informed me, ever so casually, “Hello Joey. Oh, I see you’re on the phone. Well, I’m sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know the people working on office renovations are now behind your desk using a powerful vacuum cleaner.” Of course, I assumed my brain new what the fuck it was talking ‘bout.

Then the shaking grew stronger.

I swiveled my chair around, looked out the window and saw the church outside shaking. “That’s one damn powerful vacuum,” I said back to my brain.

By this point, my brain heard people in the office using the word “earthquake” and the sentences, “Get in a doorway” and “Do not leave.” So, I hung up the phone and walked to a doorway.

After the shaking subsided, people began saying the building was to be evacuated. That is when I faced an idiot’s dilemma.

Of course, I was going to take my book bag. After all, it was packed and ready to go. Then, I made sure to get my cell phone and charger (not of the San Diego variety). But what to do, what to do? I looked at my Arizona Energy Drink and a two-disc compilation of lounge and down tempo songs (called, embarrassingly enough, POSH: An Exclusive Chillout Experience) I purchased from a Bed, Bath & Beyond in Salt Lake City.

I honestly hesitated, debating whether I should grab the energy drink and eject disc two of POSH and take them downstairs with me. I quickly assessed the situation and realized that POSH would be no great loss and people downstairs would mock me if I brought my energy beverage.

Should I be bothered or oddly proud that in the midst of natural disaster I still make decisions based on what people will think of me?

My entire world is literally shaking and I still feel embarrassment and potential shame.

In therapy, this would be a groundbreaking discovery I suppose.

 

 

*Yes, I already tweeted something similar. For the curious bunch who do not follow @mentalmacguyver, the tweet read, “Not a good time to break up with my wife today. After the #earthquake we couldn’t file for no-fault divorce.”